Eminem - The Real Slim Shady
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here..
Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
And started whoopin her ass worse than before
They first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!)
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
He didn't just say what I think he did, did he? "
And Dr. Dre said... Nothing you idiots!
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
Feminist women love Eminem
[*vocal turntable: chigga chigga chigga*]
"Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walkin around grabbin his you-know-what
Flippin the you-know-who, " "Yeah, but he's so cute though! "
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna get on tv and just let loose, but can't
But it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel don't they?
"We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes [Slurp]
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
[*Ewww!*] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes
[Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)]
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
You little bitch, put me on blast on mtv
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"
I should download her audio on mp3
And show the whole world how you gave Eminem vd [Ahhh!]
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
So I have been sent here to destroy you [bzzzt]
And there's a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
And just might be the next best thing but not quite me!
I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you
Things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
In front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
And whether you like to admit it [*Err*] I just shit it
Better than ninety percent of you rappers out there
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
I'll be the only person in the nursin home flirting
Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with Jergens
And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
He could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings
[*Hach*] Or in the parkin lot, circling
Screaming "I don't give a fuck!"
With his windows down and his system up
So, will the real Shady please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it, let's all stand up
"The Real Slim Shady" is a song by American rapper Eminem from his third album The Marshall Mathers LP (2000). It was released as the lead single a month before the album's release. "The Real Slim Shady" was Eminem's first song to reach number one in the United Kingdom and it also peaked at number four on the Billboard Hot 100, giving him his biggest hit up to that point. The song was the 14th best selling of 2000 in the United Kingdom. It won multiple awards, including MTV Video Music Awards for Best Video and Best Male Video, as well as a Grammy Award for Best Rap Solo Performance. In October 2011, NME placed it at number 80 on its list "150 Best Tracks of the Past 15 Years". It was listed at number 396 on NME's 500 greatest songs of all time. "The Real Slim Shady" was not originally intended to be part of The Marshall Mathers LP. Interscope Records's Jimmy Iovine wanted Eminem to have a song to introduce the album, similar to the way "My Name Is" was the first single on The Slim Shady LP. Eminem, Dr. Dre, Tommy Coster and Mike Elizondo wrote "The Real Slim Shady" just hours before the final copy of the album was due. The first single was intended to be "Who Knew." The song is a critique of manufactured pop songs that were popular at the time. It was a hit single, becoming Eminem's first chart topper in some countries, and garnering much attention for insulting various celebrities, including: Actress Pamela Anderson's alleged abuse at the hands of her ex-husband, rocker Tommy Lee (Jaws all on the floor, like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door, and started whooping her ass worse than before, they first were divorced, throwing her over furniture) Eminem claims in one line to have murdered Dr. Dre, and that he's locked him in his basement. This was a spin on one of his previous songs, "My Name Is", where Eminem says, "And Dr. Dre said..." then Dre comes on and says, "Slim Shady, you're a basehead." (And Dr. Dre said—nothing, you idiots/Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement.) Comedian Tom Green's humping of a deceased moose on TV, and his song "Lonely Swedish". (Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't/but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose.) Rapper Will Smith's brand of commercialized and clean rap music and his VMA acceptance speech where he boasted that he didn't need to curse or kill anybody on his records (Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records/well, I do. So fuck him, and fuck you too.) Eminem first dissed Smith in the music video in Dr. Dre's "Forgot About Dre" when a news reporter asked him questions about the fire he and Dre started and he responded, "Well I was just upstairs listening to my Will Smith CD" in replacement to the middle of Eminem's verse due to the explicit lyrics. Eminem mentions Britney Spears (You think I give a damn about a Grammy?/Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me/"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"/Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?/So you can sit me here, next to Britney Spears?) Christina Aguilera was angered by his claim that she performed oral sex on Fred Durst of the band Limp Bizkit and on Carson Daly, an MTV VJ. (Shit, Christina Aguilera, better switch me chairs/so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst/and hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first.) He also makes fun of the boy band NSYNC when he appears to dance in the video with the "group". (I'm sick of you, little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me/so I have been sent here to destroy you.). However, Chris Kirkpatrick was unhappy with this, so he called Eminem a "bully", and Eminem attacked him with the song "Without Me". He references the Bloodhound Gang's song "The Bad Touch" (They've got the Discovery Channel, don't they/We ain’t nothin but mammals). The chorus is about the sudden fashion changes caused by Eminem's success: "I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady/All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating/So won't The Real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up?" The chorus imitates the catchphrase of the quiz show To Tell the Truth: "Will the real ______ please stand up?" In an interview while promoting his greatest hits album, Curtain Call, Eminem remarked that the sound of the chorus was intended to recreate that of a chainsaw going off. The sudden jump and increase in tempo as well as pitch recreates the motor of a chainsaw coming to life.